Tuesday, December 16, 2008

When Bloggers Stop Blogging: ISU season


Time for some epic poetry, peoples

UGHNG>>>>>>>
I hate ISUs with a passion.  
The reason I hate them so much is the
fact that you get them so far 
in advance and yet
you never start them until 
the last minute, so the night before you
are up till 4 o'clock  finding
a billion and a half
bible verses, typing them 
up and fitting them on a timeline. It wouldn't
be so bad, after all, the 
Bible's interesting,
but when you have to do 
so many, your brain freezes over and you die.

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Heaven in milk-product form

Christmas season is finally here.  Not because of stores selling christmas paraphenallia (they've been doing that since October), and not because our house has Christmas lights up (some years we don't even take 'em down.)  Nope, Christmas season is here because I have just taken my first bite of Candy-cane ice-cream.
It's the stuff I wait for all year round.  And it's not even for the taste. Of course, it does taste delicious. The stuff is ridiculously creamy, full to the top with candy-cane pieces and loaded with chocolate crackles.  But the real reason that I love it so much is that it embodies the Christmas Season in my mind, just as much as the first snowfall, the claymation Rudolph that I used to watch on TVO kids every year, and the plush Barney-wearing-a-Santa-hat that we used to set out for me.
Notice that I've said The Christmas Season.  That's something totally different than Christmas itself.  Christmas is about Christ, and The Season is technically about commercialism.  However, to me the Christmas Season still has some kind of magic, which to me, is embodied in my Candy-cane ice-cream.

Sunday, November 23, 2008

Hallelujah!

We got gas today for 80.3 cents.  Whoopee!

And THAT was expensive!  Update on December 16th... it was something like 69.4 this weekend!

62.4 now!

Friday, November 21, 2008

DUDE!

So it's Chaos season... our school has been turned into a backstabbing, deceitful, dangerous nest of treacherous, conniving spies, who enjoy betraying each other to their cut-throat enemies.
(Impressive adjectives, n'est pas?)  By Chaos I mean chaos, and by chaos, I mean Chaos.  Ha ha.

What I really meant by that cryptic and unintelligible message was that the annual school game of Chaos just started this week.  Each person is given the name of another person at the school.  The objective is to eliminate that person from the game by killing them.  The way you do that is to find that person away from the arms-reach of anyone else and tag them.  Then once you have done so, you have a funeral for them (kidding.)  They give you the name that they had, and the game goes on.  The only safe zones are the washrooms.  The only safe times are during classes.  If you're on school property at any time of day, watch out.

There are several strategies and types of players in the game.  I will now outline a few.

1.) The Alliance Maker.  This person goes around and makes pacts and alliances with as many people as possible.  They help their alliances kill their target to receive help with killing their own.  However, alliances are broken off as easily as they are made.    
2.) The Stalker.  Generally, the stalker is a much more cautious person, who concentrates on staying safe.  They take several days to stalk their target, all the while making sure their target doesn't realize that they're stalking them.
3.) The Aggressor.  The player who concentrates as getting as many kills as possible.
4.) The Super-Aggressor.  There's always one of these in every game.  The Super-Aggressor is a whirlwind killer who seems unstoppable, burning through victims like a forest-fire.  This player is usually a grade twelve student, as they are more experienced in playing.  The Super-Aggressor usually lasts only a few days, as they do not concentrate on keeping themself safe.
5.) The Teacher.  Teachers play too, and only last a little while due to their more isolated position.  Teacher strategies include calling students aside for meetings during lunch, pulling them out of class and talking to them until the bell rings, and sneaking up on people.
6.) The Faker.  Freaks people out by acting suspicious and pretending that they have people that they do not.  This keeps people from looking out for the real killer, and generally ends with the death of the Faker's target.
7.) The Safe One.  Doesn't kill, doesn't try to kill.  Just concentrates on being safe.  These are the people who usually win, as the game can go on for months and months.
8.) The Grade Nines.  Clingy, Giggly, Paranoid... enough said :)

Anyway, I love chaos.  And I got killed yesterday.  Fun fun!

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

In which a bunch of small children invade our school and I procrastinate the afternoon away

So, today is a day off school for most people.  Or, as I should say, most sane people.  I happen to be musical, and insane, so I was swept up into Not Sleeping In and Coming Into School to Play Music on my Day Off.  
Ahh, grade eight day.  I happen to love it.  For some reason I take joyful pleasure in shepherding kids around our school, and watching them get lost in our 2 and 1/2 hallway school.  I love telling them that our "swimming pool" had needed to be chlorinated so we would have to skip that part of the tour, and telling them all about the "arcade" and the "bowling alley" in the basement- off limits today, unfortunately.  And watching their faces as they see how much grease is on the pizza is priceless.
So, why didn't I stay today after playing music for them?  Probably because I thought I would end up doing homework all day... what a laugh!  I sure need to kick my butt into gear or my math grade is going to drop right back down to the fifties.  My problem is that I do not have the focus for it.  It doesn't make sense to most people: here's a girl who can practice violin for an hour and a half every day of the week, but cannot stand to sit down and answer a few problems. I just don't like math, that's all.

At least I stayed at school for the doughnuts.

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Tout Le Monde En Français

So, the other day in French class, we were taught how to pray en Français.  Being at a Christian high school, I suppose it wasn't unexpected, but it did surprise me a little.  Why, I'm not sure.  I suppose it was because I'm not used to the idea of someone teaching us how to pray.  I mean, sure, we were taught how to in Sunday School or whatever, but, prayer is supposed to flow naturally.  And in all honesty, it's expected.  I mean, after being in Christian Education for 7 years, I should have learned something.

So, on we were, into the bold realms of structured prayer, and in all honesty, I had no idea what some of the things taught were.  Like some guideline that someone wrote up.  I think it's based on the Lord's prayer, so it's canon, but I'd never heard of the thing before!  It made me feel distinctly awkward while everyone was talking about the different parts.  I know Jesus instructed his followers how to pray, but since when did prayer become a formula, and how did I miss learning it?

Then we learned the vocab words, which were slightly essential.  Apparently Amen is the same in both languages.

Then on to writing it, and all I could think about was how much I miss Geoffrey.  And so, at the end of the prayer, all I could echo were the lyrics of the song played at his funeral.  
Tu donne et emporte, You give and take away.

Sunday, October 26, 2008

In which I am the mediator of The Eternal Conflict

    The funny thing around my house is how everyone over here is completely used to the fighting between our cat and dog.  It's a common procedure for us to mechanically step to the side as a black and white blur shoots past, followed by a noticeably slower gray one.  This procedure gets repeated so many times that we barely notice when a rumble like thunder echoes through our house.  Sure, we yell at the dog when she starts barking at squirrels, and we even reprimand her with "Bad dog: NO CAT!" every once in a while.
    However, if there are people over at our house while this tumult ensues, it becomes a focal point for the conversation.  They ask us how we handle it.  And we shrug and say "It's perfectly normal" with a smile.


Monday, October 20, 2008

The problems with death/ my special project

      As I read my title I laugh because death is a problem in itself.  It sure doesn't need anything else to go along with it :)  However, things do, and that's generally where the problems occur.
I am a good student.  Sometimes freakishly so.  I'm the only person I know to ever get 100% on a course (although it's slightly less impressive when I say that it was Grade Nine Bible.) 
    However, Geoff's death has sent me on a crash course of disaster.  And no wonder, seeing as it was just one week before school started.  For example, the fact that I'm actually close to failing Functions and Relations.  I've never been close to failing anything, mostly because I'm such a perfectionist that I don't like getting less than nineties.  It also seems that grief has somehow affected my memory in French as well, as I can't even remember how to write in present tense correctly, let alone the passe compose, and the other thousand tenses that we learned in the past few years.
    I'm not even sure what I think about doing so poorly.  I almost felt proud that I was doing so badly in math.  Now I just feel tired, because I have to come home each day and teach the stuff to myself our that math "teacher" lectured on us today.
      Anyway, I've found myself a special project to keep my mind off things.  The fact that yellow is both our favourite colour, and the fact that he asked to be buried in a yellow tux made me want to make him a present.  Grace took pumpkins up to his grave because he adored pumpkins as well, and it got me thinking.  If Geoff loved yellow so much, and if I love yellow so much, why not make his grave a glowing yellow beacon.
    So every day I'm outside with plastic bags collecting the most vibrant yellow leaves I can find.  And it's therapeutic as well, because every glowing leaf I find reminds me of him and why I miss him so much.  I talk to him too, and tell him how much I miss him because I know that he'll always be beside me.

Friday, October 10, 2008

If a tree falls in the forest...

I find it kind of funny.

We have this huge tree in our backyard that looks sturdy and immovable, like iron, or steel or maybe diamond. My dad is in the garage minding his own business when CRASH, he heard this ridiculous noise. A limb wider than me had broken off, slammed its way into the neighbour's backyard, and smashed a rather large hole in the fence.

Sure it's not funny that we have to replace the fence and get this massive limb hauled away, but the fact that the great demolition came out of nowhere is. Here's a tree that seems to stand the test of time one minute, and with no good reason, detaches with great gusto the next.

There's probably some kind of lesson or proverb to be learned here.
Maybe that people aren't always what they seem underneath?
Maybe that it's easier than you think to break down?

One thing's for sure... if I accidentally throw my dog's ball into the lot behind us, I won't have to scale the fence like I usually do.

Sunday, September 21, 2008

Heroes Season Three, Villains! AHHH!












Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Grace


All for love a Father gave
For only love could make a way
All for love the heavens cried
For love was crucified
~
All for love a Saviour prayed
Abba, father, have your way
Though they know not what they do
Let the cross draw men to you

Sunday, August 31, 2008

Meehhh

I really don't feel like talking right now, but, whatever.  I probably should.  I haven't written anything in a few days.

I am actually partially dreading going back to school.  We're having a special assembly on Wednesday.  SickKids is sending in grief counselors.  Ugh.  I need a grief counselor, but I really don't feel like walking up to a total stranger and telling him that, "I need to talk about my grief."  Well, I kind of talked to total strangers about my grief today, but that was at a church I was visiting and playing a gig at, and they were having a "share about your summer" testimony thing, and I just felt like it.  Of course, they asked me if I wanted prayer after, and I couldn't say no.  I dislike praying one on one with people.  I'm cool by myself and in large groups.  Just not one on one.  

The tears are flowing easier now.  For the first little while, I acted like I was carved out of wood because I was just so shocked that I couldn't handle it.  I mean, read my post on the day of his death for goodness sake.  Talk about sarcastic.  To tell you the truth, this post is pretty sarcastic too, but that's because the grief comes and goes in waves, and seeing as I juts got back from a party, I'm fine.

It was a Sweeney Todd watching party :)  I love that musical!  I'm obsessed with pretty much all musicals, but the music in this one is really good.  The people getting their throats slit didn't really bother me way too much either, because the blood looked exactly like the cough medicine that makes me sneeze.  Thank goodness it was unrealistic.  However, there was a part that really did bothered me.  This was the part where a character gets shoved into the pie-making furnace.  *shudder*  It was absolutely TERRIBLE!  When I was little, I used to have Arsonphobia (fear of fire.)  I would wake up screaming and sobbing at least twice a week with vivid nightmares.  I knew as soon as I saw the open furnace in this movie that the character in question was going to be shoved in.  *shudder again*  I also hated the fact that people were eating other people.  Especially when Toby bit into that finger.  EURGH!

But I like the ending.  It was full of poetic justice.

I miss you Geoffrey.

Monday, August 25, 2008

Aftermath

Tomorrow is the visitation.

I don't know how I'm going to get through it.  All I know is that I really, really, really hope that it's not an open casket... Geoff was the most alive person I know... knew... KNOW!  I want to remember him in life, not in death.

Sunday, August 24, 2008

Ending? or Beginning?

We, I suppose that my new blog is going to change.  It was suppose to record everything about the struggles of my friend as he battled cancer.  

He died this afternoon.

Shock.  It hasn't sunk in yet.  Thank goodness.  I can laugh right now, and I haven't started crying yet.  I feel like throwing up.
Two months, ha.

Today is August 24, 2008.  The day Geoffrey died.


Geoffrey Dykstra
July 8, 1993~ Aug 24 2008



Friday, August 22, 2008

The new blog

So, I started a new blog as well... this one's called Borrowed Time: Friend of a Cancer Victim, or something like that.  The point of this is that I'm probably going to be writing alot of innermost pondering, and I really don't want this blog to turn into the epitome of gloom and doom, because one has to get some respite from tragedy, right?  Anyway, there will probably be some entries the same in both blogs, and I'll update anything major on here.  Yeah.


The link doesn't seem to be working... but I'll try to fix that.

Thursday, August 21, 2008

Diagnosis

The answer to all our fears is simple.

1.)  Yes, it's cancer

2.) It's extremely aggressive

3.) It has spread to his bones

4.) It's non treatable.

5.) He has two months

So in short, he has extremely aggressive, non-treatable bone cancer and has two months to live.


This can't be happening

Sunday, August 17, 2008

It never ends...

My friend has a probable diagnosis of cancer.

They don't know for sure, but he does have a massive tumour in his shoulder, and his body has been acting weird all of a sudden.  They think it's an extremely aggressive cancer.

I don't understand this.

I haven't done much ranting at God yet, but I will, especially if it does turn out to be a huge, cancerous, aggressive tumour.  Oh great, I'm starting to cry again.  He's only fifteen!  He doesn't deserve this, actually, he's be one of the LAST people I would say that deserves it.  He is the most hilarious, sweet, scarcastic, and goofy guy ever.  He was one of my best friends in elementary school.  He made life bearable for me when I was alone in grade five.

It just goes and goes and goes... it's the Year of the Cancer.  Three people I know have died from it, and two people (or, will be two when the diagnosis is firm) have been diagnosed with an extremely aggressive kind.  My dad's best friend, a kid at my youth group's dad, and a mentor from my Orchestra have all passed away.  My next door neighbour and family friend for as long as I can remember has cancer through her whole body.  And now this...

Not to mention my Nana nearly dying in February and my friend's best friend dying from cystic fibrosis...

It's too much.

We find out tomorrow.

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Dr. Horrible's Sing-A-Long Blog


Just a quick shout-out to tell about my new slight obsession... Dr. Horrible's Sing-A-Long Blog.  It's this internet musical that is pure awesomeness, about an evil scientist trying to get into the Evil League, all the while trying to get through to the girl of his dreams, who happens to be dating his arch-nemesis Captain Hammer.  The Capt. is a real idiot, whose head is bigger than his ability. It was free on the net for a while, and now can only be bought on iTunes.  I LOVE IT!!!
Not only is it a really good story, but the characters are so real that you feel real sympathy for Billy (the Dr.)  The singing is Phenominal!! There's the one point when Billy and Penny (the girl) are singing a duet, and it's written and sung so beautifully that it sends shivers up my spine.  Yay!


Sunday, July 20, 2008

The End of the Holidays

So, after a lovely week away from civilization at my cottage (a pity there's no internet there or I would have written a lot in this blog) we come back home.  To a few surprises.

1.  The dog has a bladder infection.
2.  It's raining.  Really hard.  And we have to get our luggage out of the car.  Pity.
3.  There's something wrong with the cat.  He's got  bald patch on his neck, which we think comes from the fact that dad gave him the dog's flea meds instead.
4. The yard is flooded.
5. The heater is on!  In July!  The house is HOT!
6. The heater won't turn off!
7. The heater won't turn off because it is submerged with water (!) because...
8. The basement is flooded.

Oh well, we're all quite cheerful, and the repair man is nice.  The weather reminds me of the day we moved into this house... "It rained like you wouldn't believe!"  "We believe!"  We were so tired that we decided it was impossible to cook anything, so we ordered pizza, found out they didn't do delivery, went to get the pizza, got stuck in traffic, and found we brought home the wrong order!  Such is life! :)  And life is beautiful!

On a funnier note, some how some kind of seed has made its way into my worm farm, because it's sprouting something :)

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Saying Goodbyes...

The problem with saying goodbyes is the pain that they cause.  Take the second last day of the school calendar, which happens to be the last full day of camp-out, which happens to be called Sob-fest, which is where the entire school gathers around a campfire and "reminisces"( aka tells funny stories) about the past year, the graduates, and the experiences they've had.  I don't cry at The Fest itself, because it's quite hilarious.  But afterward...

You see, the people that I have hung out with every school day for the past two years (minus a couple months at the beginning of grade nine) have all graduated.  No joke.  Holly, Allie, Beka, Andrea, and the new addition Laura have been my constant companions and shoulders to cry on.  I have shared tents with them, bus-seats with them, secrets with them, and mostly, my food with them :)  So the fact that they all have graduated makes me, well, almost like a fish out of water.  Of course, I won't be bumming around by myself, because a couple months from the end of the year, all the other awesome people at my school finally discovered how awesome we are (ha ha ha ha... RIGHT...) and started hanging with us.  So, I'll have these friends to be with. And Holly and Andrea are close by, and have promised to visit regularly.

Still, it doesn't matter.  It's not going to be the same, you know?  If I suddenly have a brilliant (or not so) musical idea, I won't be able to sidle up to Holly and expound.  No choruses of "Green Girl, because you are green, I shall oppress you!" in the hallways with Beka.  No Gollum voices from Allie, or Cake Song from Laura.  And no more mooching off of Andrea's nacho dip while she eats my healthy food.  I don't worry about being friendless, but I'm not happy either.  I guess that's what goodbyes are, really.  Thanking God for the good memories, and crying over the separation.  Because you know that even while your heart is breaking, life is beautiful.

Friday, June 13, 2008

Awards

So... it was closing assembly today, and it was also the awards ceremony. The academic awards are awarded every two years, at the end of grade ten and grade twelve, so your school average has to be kept up over two years. And, hurray, I got an academic excellence award :) It means that I've kept an average above 85. In all honesty, my average is probably higher than this, but we don't know.

I am also the recipient of the Arts and Leadership Award, awarded at the ends of grade ten and twelve. I got the only grade ten one :) and my friend Alie got the grade twelve one. I wasn't terribly surprised, but I was very happy. I love the arts, and I've been hoping to get this award since I heard of it.

This is a link of the awards ceremony. Watch it, it's pretty sweet. Awards Ceremony

Overdue careers post (it's the last day of class and I've been procrastinating)

So, some of the jobs that I was matched up to with the career matcher profile were a university professor, a classroom educational assistant, a high school teacher, elementary school teacher, actor, musician and such.

I was certainly surprised by the university professor part... I've never thought of myself as a university professor type. If I were to be a teacher, I would like to be a grade six teacher, simply because my teacher for grade six was absolutely incredible, and I'd like to recreate the experience for a bunch of other kids.

I was also surprised at how far down the list musician was. I mean... they didn't even ask me if I played an instrument! I learned that it was because I had put that I didn't particularly want to work on weekends and evenings -times musicians do work- because I hope to get married and have a family.


Monday, June 9, 2008

Fugue!!

This weekend I worked about 18 hours on my ISU... which happened to be writing a fugue for music class.  Writing a fugue is alot more complicated than I thought it would be... well, obviously I knew that it would be complicated, but there are alot of rules to follow that I think would be there.

For example... a fugue is a piece of music, more complicated than a canon (which is a more complicated version of a round).  It uses imitative counterpoint, which means that every time a new voice comes in it imitates the theme.  But what I did not know is that when a new voice comes in the fugue, it changes key.  Yep.  Complicated.  But, I managed.  Here it is.

Darn, it didn't work.  :(

Tuesday, June 3, 2008

My obsession with Ireland


I officially have a fixation with the emerald isle.

First of all, my dad's family's Irish. So, therefore, I have Irish blood in me. Strangely enough, I feel much more Irish than I really am... my great grandparents were the last pure Irish blood in my family. But as long as I can remember, I've had a strange fascination with the place, and I've had an intense longing to visit there ever since a was a small girl.

Perhaps it's partly my love of fantasy, or more specifically, love of the Faerie culture. Ireland is so rich with stories of the Downe Sidhe that the whole country is a mix of ancient and modern. There are high rises in Dublin, but you won't find many people who will willingly build anything on a Faerie mound. In Ireland, children aren't the only ones who believe, most adults will not ever willingly give up their heritage.

I love Ireland with every bone in my body, and I have yet to go there. If I could go to any country as an exchange partner, or to a a foreign school, I would go to Ireland.

More Careers Stuff: Schools

There are a bunch of schools that hover in the back of my brain. I'm still not entirely sure of any of them. Of course, I'm thinking of music here.

1. U of T. Uber competitive, uber huge, uber mean. My piano teacher says that if you go into the practice areas while people are practicing there, you'll hear one person start playing a Beethoven Sonata, then the next practice room over you'll hear someone else start to play it faster, and then in another practice room someone will play it faster. U of T breaks more musicians than it makes them. That's why the nickname is "factory of music" instead of The faculty.

I've heard of the prestigious violin program at Julliard. I haven't really looked into it. I would assume it's also uber competitive.

One place that has been hovering in the back of my mind for awhile is Hillsong University in Australia. It has a Praise and Worship program. I'd love to go there if I took a one year program or something. But would I be able to do four years away from home?

Monday, June 2, 2008

9 days and counting


Hurrah hurrah.  School is almost out.  Ugh.  Nine Days!  Argghhh!!!

Sorry about that. That's just my pessimistic side showing through: you know, the one who doesn't think that it's possible to finish these nine days in one piece.  I'm not entirely sure why, but  every little problem and worry possible converges on the last few weeks of school.  I remember that the last three days last year seemed like a sink hole... 

Perhaps it's all the projects that are due (and the ones I've procrastinated upon), and perhaps it's just the call of the outdoors.  But I think that my "misery" is mainly for two reasons: the late assignments that I haven't done yet and need to very soon, and the fact that at least three of my friends are going through really rough times and are getting into some really messed up stuff.

*sigh*  I know, I know... just give it over to God... but why is that so hard sometimes?

To close off this self-pitiful blog entry, here's a picture that I think describes how school should be... :)  Kitties!!!!
                                    

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Prom: popularity from the outside

       This Friday I went my friend's prom as his prom date. Apart from being quite wonderful, it was also slightly fascinating, because I was able to have an outside view on what was quite obviously a popularity contest.
      Besides my friend, I knew a couple other people from my orchestra: my good friend Andrea, her friend Amy, and Dave, who happens to be Andrea's good friend, my friend at the best of times, and quite pompous.  I also knew a couple of other people who had gone to my elementary school, and Jeremy, who is Dave's friend and is apparently a horrible person. :)  
      Of course, the evening was sprinkled with liberal amounts of "Prom Drama": furtive angry whispers about how one girl had apparently attempted sabotage on another's dress, dirty looks, and people running to the bathroom crying.  (The one girl that I personally saw crying wasn't actually a victim of the drama as we originally thought, apparently her brother had just died!)
      However, the thing that got me thinking the most was the "Class" slideshow, put together by one of the members of the prom committee.  They had apparently asked students to submit photos of themselves to put in the slideshow.  However, after those were finished off, the rest of the fifteen minute presentation was made up of pictures of the current reigning clique, and the friends of the girl who made the slideshow!  It was actually kind of ridiculous: I counted up to about twenty five appearances or more by some people, while some people I knew made it on there once or not at all.  It was almost as if it was some sort of statement: either you're on here or you don't belong.
      To follow this up, I was talking to my friend Red who is a graduate of that particular school, and he said that he didn't like his prom all that much because "it seemed like one giant popularity contest."  He had no idea how right he was.

Sunday, May 18, 2008

Tuesday, May 6, 2008

iPod!


Aiaiai!  That music player now embedded in my blog took WAY too much time to organize. It's awesome though :)

The way to get it playing is this: if it says a freakish message like Pending Data, press play.  It will probably then say paused.  Push play again, and it should work.  If you can't read the buttons, play and pause is the top button.  Switch songs by pushing the right or left buttons.

Peace out :)

Monday, May 5, 2008

Nerds are a sub-culture

In today's standards, I would be classified as a nerd.  In all honesty, I love it.

Of course there are different sub-categories with in the title of nerd, but they all have some things in common.  1.) People who do not blend in with the crowd or 2.) have no desire to blend in with the crowd.  3.) People who have interests are contrary to the interests of the large majority of people and 4.) exploit those interests when possible.  5.) People who are seclusive or 6.) people who simply have no urge to hang out with the popular crowd, due to the fact that they are not 7.) accepted or 8.) are viewed as oddities.  

I just started reading this fantastic blog on the MacLean's website, made by a sixteen-year-old bio nerd (self-christened) who is going into university next year.  

It's interesting how some people feel a pressing urge to climb the social ladder, while others feel comfortable where they are, and therefore do not care.  It's also interesting how much the views on a certain stereotypical culture group change depending on who you ask.  An example would be the term emo, which actually means emotionally unstable and is actually rude to call someone, vs. the kid in my class who lives a self-proclaimed emo lifestyle and scrawled Life, Death, Emo! on a portable door last spring.

I am a self-proclaimed music nerd, but I know people who would rather jump off a cliff than "insult themselves" in that fashion.  *smirk*  One person's trash is another's treasure I guess.

Saturday, May 3, 2008

What I expect to get out of Careers Class

I'm looking forward to Careers Class.  I like my teacher alot :D
I also hope that this will open up doors for me, or even close them.  Maybe opening doors isn't the problem, it's choosing the one to go through.  Oh well, I'll have God to guide me.  I think Careers class will be fun, and probably good for my schedule (as we don't get homework too much.)  I'm behind on work in other classes as it is.  Ahhh!

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Motivation

I can't keep myself motivated when doing homework.  ARGH!!!

I hate this.

Friday, May 2, 2008

Confused and counting

It seems almost silly to be worrying about my future so much, but I can't help it. There is so much I am interested in, and I don't know what path to take. I guess all I can do is hand it over to God, but it's so hard to just let go. It's like relinquishing control over you life.

There are several different areas that I'm interested in.  I'm interested in theatre, in music, and in writing.  I don't know what way to pursue.  In one way I fee really  drawn to music, but in the other way, everyone expects me to do it, so I feel pressured sometime.  Like when I was circling career choices on a web the other day in class, somebody looked at it and said "I thought all yours would be about music!" It irks me.  I resent that.

I really love acting, and it's one of my passions.  However, every little girl's dream is to become an actress, and it's so hard to make it.  I don't even want to go there really.  I'd love to do theatre.

I don't know.

Tuesday, April 29, 2008

I am Bill Clinton *laugh*

So I took a famous leaders test. *snort*

The four letter test

So, today we had to take tests that assign us four letters. Apparently I am Extroverted rather than introverted, full of iNtuition, I Feel rather than think, and I use Perception rather than judgment. This makes mostly sense. I was surprised, because I got the exact same letters as another girl in my class who most people think is my polar opposite. (She's a very orange, very extroverted, very loud and talkative, and very opinionated.) However, it does make some sense because I think I am more extroverted than introverted, although I can be either depending on the mood. Sometimes I crave company, sometimes I just NEED to get away from people. The percentages are the things that really put everything into perspective... the girl who got the same letters as me's percentages were WAY different... her Extroverted vs. Introverted percentages are 85 and 15, rather than my 52.94 and 47.06.

Extroverted (E) 52.94% Introverted (I) 47.06%
Intuitive (N) 62.5% Sensing (S) 37.5%
Feeling (F) 61.11% Thinking (T) 38.89%
Perceiving (P) 70.97% Judging (J) 29.03%

Your type is: ENFP

Monday, April 28, 2008

Reasons for the below post

1. I was bored.
2. I was doing science homework.
3. I am sick.
4. I have a Chuck Norris fact generator on my computer
Such is life.

Today instead of going to school I had a run-out concert with my orchestra. This is where we go out to elementary schools and do an educational concert for them. It was rather insane: we played to about 1200 students from all over the area. Sometimes it got a little hairy... a gymnasium packed with screaming kids is a bit intimidating. But, we had fun and I think they did too. I spotted some members of my fan club too! *laugh* Last year when we played at this particular school, we got mobbed by a group of young students begging us to give them autographs! Me and a couple of kids were honestly signing for about a half-hour. It was rather hilarious. My friend started having a lot of fun by signing things like "stay in school" and "eat your vegetables." Having a fan club is weird, and not a little creepy. :$

This year I didn't sign autographs, I just played the pink panther theme for a bunch of kids who seemed obsessed with that particular piece of music. Who knew?

Random Chuck Norris Quotes

These are not made to make sense :)

They say curiosity killed the cat.  This is false.  Chuck Norris killed the cat.  Every single one.

Google won't search for Chuck Norris because it knows that you don't find Chuck, he finds you.

Chuck Norris CAN believe it's not butter!

Chuck Norris does not style his hair.  It lies flat on his head out of sheer terror.

Some people like to eat frogs legs.  Chuck Norris likes to eat lizard legs.  Hence, snakes.

When you say that no one's perfect, Chuck Norris takes this as a personal insult.

Dinosaurs went extinct because of the Chuck Norrisaurus.

If at first you don't succeed, you are NOT Chuck Norris.

Larry dislikes me


The Larry that I speak of is actually my nickname for laryngitis, which I managed to contract this weekend.  *sigh*  Just my luck, really.  I'm already unbelievably stressed without a virus hanging out behind my earlobes.  (I have an earache/jaw-ache that seems to center behind my ears.) Hopefully it doesn't get any worse.

I shall say nothing else because if I say more, I will probably start complaining.  So, I shall post this picture instead. This is me... I wish.  I have to do homework instead of taking advantage of being sick and watching TV.  There I go complaining again.


Thursday, April 24, 2008

For Careers: Ecclesiastes 1 is Utterly Meaningless!

No, actually, Ecclesiastes 1 is not meaningless. It says meaningless though, quite a lot actually. One could say to excess, but it does bring a point across.

Ecclesiastes 1:2

2 "Meaningless! Meaningless!"
says the Teacher.
"Utterly meaningless!
Everything is meaningless."

It then goes on to describe just how meaningless everything is.

It makes me feel rather weary, reading this. I have thought about this so often. I despise society with a hating passion. I mean, really. We're told in elementary school to get good grades so we can get into Academic in High School. Then we're told to get good grades in High School so we can goto a good university. Then we're told to get good grades in uni so we can get a good job. Then we're told to get a better job so we can get a better pension. Then we get old, get our pension and die. How dumb is this?!? We make no room in society for love or for caring for others... it's just an overly competitive world fighting for money and power. I for one don't really want a part in this.

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

I'm blue da ba dee da ba die...

You know, I'm starting to like and accept the fact that my personality is blue/idealist. Two days ago in Careers class, we divided up into our colour groups: the blues got together, the oranges, the greens, and the golds. I wasn't there, I was singing with the school, uh, "choir" in the music-festival. When I came back, the colour groups has written their likes and dislikes on big pieces of paper on the board. Everything that the blue group wrote fit with my interests. Here is what they wrote:
We Like: music, food, talking, chick flicks, JUNO, summer, Popsicles, home sweet home and animals. We go crazy when we face: nagging, teachers, homework, science 2D, relatives, math, and dirt... Paul likes dirt.

This completely equates to me. I love music and food, chick flicks are amusing, Juno is one of my favourite movies ever, summer is the only time I ever relax fully, I love popsicles when they're chocolate (and other ones aren't half-bad either), I love being at home, and I'm obsessed with cats. In the dislikes, I LOATHE nagging, most teachers aren't half bad people, but they annoy me sometimes when they are teaching, I hate homework because I never do it and fall behind, Science 2D is my least favourite subject this semester, I like relatives but I need my personal space, I had trouble with math last semester, and sure... yay for Paul liking dirt :)

The funny thing is that the orange group's answers, the group I really wanted to be in, annoyed me to no end. And I realized that I'm not in that group for a reason, I don't always get along well with those people... it's just not my personality type. Some of their answers that I found annoying were (exactly as they were written) Likes: Hockey, Gum, and Facebook, Dislikes: Feet, B.O. (aka body odour), and classical music. I mean, why put body odour on there? Nobody likes it, and I thought it was dumb the way they wrote it. I will not comment on the classical music jibe because I will probably start to rant and rave about how "classical" music is actually a mis-nomer and how people misunderstand it... there I go. I shall be quiet now.

Violin competition...duhn duhn duhn

So, I decided to go through with my violin competition, and it didn't go as badly as I thought it would.  It was rather funny... the only other person in my class was my friend Jeremy, but we were cool with competing against each other, or rather, playing with each other, as he termed it. He's right.  I knew I wasn't ready, so I expected him to win, and he did.  Oh well :)  What really threw me off this year was the fact the the school play was way later in the year... last year it was March 1,2,3.  This year, two of the three weeks that I should have been practicing hardest were consumed by late night play practices and performances.

Another thing that was unfortunate was that I was fighting against my bow the whole time.  It's new, and much heavier at the tip than I'm used to.  It kept on sliding out of my grip and just being a pain.  Ah well.  Such is life!

Monday, April 21, 2008

Colour test: I'm starting to believe it.

Hmm... so, my second personality test confirmed the answers of my first one. I am blue, which means I'm compassionate. I am always encouraging and supporting. I am a peacemaker, sensitive to the needs of others. I am a natural romantic. This makes sense, I guess. Along with the whole blue thing comes this creepy little picture of blue clowns (I dislike clowns: they creep me out) which I am including just for kicks. My second-most prominent personality is orange, which makes sense, because I think that orange is adventurous and stuff like that, which fits with artisan, which is probably my second most prominent personality.


Personality test: believe it, or not?

So, we just finished our first personality test. And I'm almost, I dunno, angry. I despise the whole act of being put into boxes. And I was put into the box of being an idealist. It's good, I guess, but it wasn't what I thought I would be. You see, there are four different categories that you can be sorted into: Artisan, Guardian, Idealist and Rationalist. In all honesty, I was sure I was going to be an artisan because that's what I want to be. Idealist is nice, and maybe that is really what I am at heart, but I've been trying to stand out and break out of the mold. As my friend sitting next to me says "Wow, everyone's an idealist!" Ugh. Why would I want to be like everyone else?

All Idealists (NFs) share the following core characteristics:

  • Idealists pride themselves on being loving, kindhearted, and authentic.
  • Idealists are enthusiastic, they trust their intuition, yearn for romance, seek their
    true self, prize meaningful relationships, and dream of attaining wisdom.
  • Idealists tend to be giving, trusting, spiritual, and they are focused on personal
    journeys and human potentials.
  • Idealists make intense mates, nurturing parents, and inspirational leaders.
This makes a lot of sense. It is me, really. But I don't know if that's what I want to be.

First post for careers class... What is a calling?

A calling is different from a job, I think. I hesitant to say the word destiny, because destiny seems to go hand in hand with humanism: the thought that we as humans are completely in control of everything. Instead I'll put God into the equation. I think that God has a perfect plan for our lives. Sometimes we try to "fix" God's plan, and we completely mess ourselves up.

Oh the irony!

Friday, April 18, 2008

Stress

And I thought violin was supposed to be fun.

I'm preparing for my violin competition on Tuesday, and I'm feeling rather discouraged. I'm in the highest grade of violin and I suppose I'm rather good. :) Most of the time anyway. I think the problem with preparing for this particular competition was the fact that I have so many other commitments.

I absolutely adore the piece I'm playing, Praeludium and Allegro by Kreisler, but I'm just not ready. My violin teacher wants me to play, but I have a problem with going to a competition and not playing my best. So, my options are to cop out of the competition, or go there and be disappointed with myself. Hm... Oh well. I'll try to be sickeningly cheerful about it. <:D

Radish :)

Blogging is rather fascinating

My name is Sarah :)

In all honesty, I've been wanting to start a blog for a while. I used to write in a diary a lot; two years ago I wrote about 150 typed pages of journal. Then I got bored. Last year I made a video diary, which was pretty sweet, but it takes up way too much space on my computer and I can't burn it on a DVD for some peculiar reason.

This blog is technically for careers class, but I'm just going to adopt it as my own. I guess school does come in handy sometimes.

I use the name Radish for a couple of reasons. One, is that I am slightly obsessed with Luna Lovegood from Harry Potter (I'll explain later) Two, is that I've never eaten a radish, therefore I do not dislike the vegetable. Three, is that I think it's a rather amusing nickname to sport.

So, if you happen to be reading this blog, welcome to my world.

Radish :)